Oddities and Dresses
by Leccare
Summary: Arthur Kirkland is the heir to a rich family that has connections with the Queen. But due to difficult times, he had been engaged to a foreign woman in order to return his family fortune. But something about his new bride is strange, especially her masculinity.. Rated M just in case..
1. Chapter 1

Arthur held his two hands together nervously, awaiting the moment he would meet woman who was to be his bride. Weddings such as these were not something that had approval in Arthur's mind. Yes, gaining money was a wonderful thing.. But marrying an unknown woman just to improve his living standards was out of the question. His father insisted though, for some odd reason, though Arthur would of thought father would rather him marry for love as he did. It was very confusing and Arthur had a hunch it had something to do with the politics his family, the noble Kirklands, were involved in with the Queen and her royal family.

The woman, the wife to be, was coming from a different country, and Arthur was unsure of what she would look like, smell like, or even what language she would speak. A chambermaid, who was well acquainted with the young Englishman tried to cheer him up by bringing him scones and pastries from the kitchen. He still fret the moment though. As she poured him tea into a small cup, Arthur shifted in his chair nervously and heard a loud, obnoxious laugh boom down the heart jumped. Very soon, a woman, who looked more like a man in a dress stumbled into the room with Mr. Kirkland, laughing, and holding his arm. Assuming this was his bride, Arthur made note of her features; which consisted of a long pointy nose, light blue eyes, ungodly short blond hair, ridiculously broad shoulders, a body taller than his, and a tiny chest. 'She's rich.. This is what father wants..' Arthur told himself as the woman greeted herself.

"My name is Amelia Jones, sir, " she said in an oddly high-pitched voice. It sounded fake, and her giggle afterwords sounded even more fake. Arthur decided not to notice, and instead smiled politely. There was a hand out for him to kiss, and when he took it, Arthur realized it was bigger than his own.

"Arthur Kirkland," he smiled, and kissed her hand. "I expect we'll become acquainted fairly quick, seeing as I already can not keep my eyes off you." This was true, but in a strange 'I can't seem to figure out quite what you are' way.

"OHHH Artie~ You're just toooo sweet! You're candy for the eyes too, deary." Amelia giggled once again. Arthur shivered, and he immediately found a word to describe her; manly. Her frame was more manly than his actually..

**(** **Author's Note: -n- I hope you're happy, Kat. **

**If anyone actually reads this, please review. I'm only going to write more if people actually want me to, so, say something like, "OH MY GAAWWSH, I TTYL LOVED DIS CHAPTAH! WHOO! WRITE MOAAARRA."  
**

**If someone actually copies and pastes that, I'm going to cry. Please don't actually review like that. xD )  
**


	2. Chapter 2

If there was anything the chambermaid could do for Arthur, she would do it without question. She always had a fondness for the bushy-browed blond, and was actually a bit dissapointed when she saw his bride-to-be. Amelia was..not how she expected, how anybody expected. And poor Arthur was all upset about it. The Englishman wanted someone less loud, less irritating and more dainty. If it wasn't for the money the family would gain from this wedding, the chambermaid believed she would make the perfect bride for Arthur. But, that was just a silly fantasy of hers.

Elizaveta fantasized far too much.

"So, when will we eat? I'm starving. Tee-hee, but of course I'm not really starving, because my family is incredibly wealthy and-" Amelia paused, following the lovely chambermaid into a lavish guest bedroom. It was so pretty.. White carpeted floors, a huge bed with feather pillows and silky sheets, a gorgeous golden chandelier with rhinestones dripping was a huge grin plastered onto Amelia's face, "Dude! Holy shi- Oh, pardon my silly language..I'm used to speaking American, tee-hee!~ "

Elizaveta smiled softly, drawing back burgundy curtains to let some sunlight flow into the room. Everything seemed to glimmer and sparkle around them. The woman flipped her long brown hair across her shoulder and opened up the one and only travel bag Amelia had. Which was strange, since women seemed to usually over pack things. "Lunch will be served in approximately an hour.. Our chef, Mr. Vargas, is making pasta.." Then she mumbled, "as usual..." under her breath.

There were about six dresses inside the bag, all very pretty and feminine.. But boxers were packed rather than panties..and nothing that even resembled a bra. It was strange, but Elizaveta just shrugged it off since Amelia didn't seem to care if she saw them or not. Or notice, rather, since the woman was rolling around on the king sized bed, squealing like a little girl.

After unpacking everything and putting them up in organized drawers, the Hungarian chambermaid left the room for Amelia to enjoy her alone-time and get dressed for lunch. Once Elizaveta had left, the blond rolled into a pillow and screamed loudly. "HOLY SHIT, ALFRED! I know you're gunna get tons of money and a huge rich-ass life if you marry the fuzzy browed dude, but geez! This is so freaking awkward!" He rolled off the bed, hitting the floor with a solid THUNK. "Ugh..My heeeeeead...My hot chick head...If you didn't need the money, you wouldn't be doing this.. So..for the money! You can do it, hero!"

**( Author's Note: Heh, boys 'n girls, I'm going to piss you all off by doing short chapters. So, enjoy this little slice- because who knows if you'll actually get another. (Aren't I an angel? :D )**

**Also, if you can't tell.. Alfred's just as broke as Iggy. )**


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